Sexy Dirty Money

Father and illegitimate son

Brian: Things are gonna be changing around here, buddy.
Brian Jr: Like what?
Brian: Like less time with Aunt Juliet, more time with me.
Brian Jr (smiling): Really?
Brian: Yeah, but don't look so happy about it. No more watches. No more fancy clothes. Just some good old-fashioned father son time.
Brian Jr: What happens during good old-fashioned father-son time?
Brian: I don't know yet. I never had any.



Husband and cheating wife

Tish: Say something. Anything.
Tripp: You've just admitted to me that you've been an adulteress for years, forgive me if I'm short on words.
Tish: Where are you going?
Tripp: What?
Tish: You haven't been in the same bed with me for weeks. I've known that you've suspected something and I also knew that you'd never say it. I mean, God forbid that Tripp Darling should ever admit to being affected by anything.
Tripp: Just tell me one thing: our children, are they all mine?
Tish: Yes. Absolutely.
Tripp: Oh, God.
Tish: What?
Tripp: The thought that you can be so sure, that such attention was paid to such a prolonged, continuous insult that you can say 'absolutely” as if it were a favor you did me fondly. My God, Tish, it's so sordid.



Family boss and family friend

Tripp: You've been Tish's Ob/Gyn for over three decades. And this is a little secret. Trust me. This is going to go with me to my grave. I am curious...
Peter: About what?
Tripp: In all the years that you've been delivering our children, have you ever been aware that any of them might not have been mine? You might look into that for me.
Peter: Yeah, sure. I could... get you an answer on that, sometime next week if you like.
Tripp: Tomorrow would be best.



Wife and bitch

Karen: Hey.
Lisa: Hey
Karen: I'm really sorry about earlier.
Lisa: You know what? Save it for someone who cares. I don't want these shoes anymore. You know why?
Karen: They don't fit?
Lisa: No, actually, they fit fine. I don't want these shoes because these shoes, these $ 1.200 shoes, stand for everything that is selfish and foul and consumptive and creepy about you.
Karen: Wow.
Lisa: Nick and I have a daughter. And you have this dream, and it's never going to come true. So stay away from my husband and stay out of my way.



Candidate to Senate

Patrick: If everything everybody did was captured on film, none of us would look like very good people.



Cheating husband and lawyer

Brian: You're gonna be hearing from Mei Ling Hwa's attorney. She's filing for divorce.
Nick: She found out about Brian Jr?
Brian: Yes.
Nick: How'd that happen?
Brian: God's holy word.
Nick: I'm sorry.
Brian: I want you to be ruthless with her lawyers. I want you to make it clear that she is not gonna get anything more than she was promised in the prenup, not an extra cent. I want you to make sure that they know that I am gonna fight for the children and when, and I want you to make sure that she knows that I am going to crush her!
Nick: Okay, note to self -- "crush her"
Brian: I made a mess of everything. What the hell is gonna happen to me?
Nick: Brian. Brian, everything is going to be okay. Every marriage has its rough edges.
Brian: Oh, what do you know, Mr. Perfect?
Nick: Hey, Brian, do me a favor. Don't insult me when you're asking for my help. Look, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna wait, and we're gonna see what Mei Ling Hwa and her attorneys do. I want you to go over there and I want you to ask for another chance.
Brian: She won't give me one.
Nick: Probably not, but you obviously care too much to just walk away and strike a bunch of angry poses. And you have children with her.
Brian: I know. I miss them already. I feel like a part of me is missing.
Nick: Then go over there and ask for another chance. Okay?
Brian: Yeah, okay. I'm... sorry I called you Mr. Perfect.
Nick: It's okay.
Brian: You are kind of insufferable, though, with your happiness. Okay, I'll go talk to her.
Nick: Good luck.



Father, son and lawyer

Tripp: We sent you to the finest schools, provided you with every conceivable advantage, and this is how you thank us, with a $ 2 million Brooklyn bridge bacchanal, where you, the host, the guest of honor, the birthday boy had to be forcibly removed by the police.
Jeremy: I screwed up. It's what I do.
Tripp: I had to get Nick out of a business dinner to deal with this nonsense.
Nick: I was just finishing up, actually.
Tripp: Well, that's not the point. He has done nothing with his life since he left college except disappoint me.
Jeremy: I know. I'm the worst thing that's ever happened to you, Dad. I know.
Tripp: Instead of choosing to learn, instead of working hard at a job to achieve something, all you've done is seek out celebrities to what, to borrow an ounce or two of their glory? "Justin Timberlake"? "Ethan Hawke"? Who are these people?
Jeremy: All right, you know, are we done here? Because, your loser son, he's feeling a little tired. He'd like to get some rest.
Tripp: Oh, far be it from me to waste your precious time. You know, we should not just delay the payout of that trust. We should terminate the damn thing.
Jeremy: You're delaying my trust?
Tripp: No, I'm revoking it entirely.
Nick: Let's not be hasty.
Jeremy: You know what? I don't care. You go ahead. You go ahead and you postpone it. You give it away. I don't friggin' care as Tripp: as I get out from under you. I wish that I could be someone you loved, Dad. I wish that, but I can't. I can't. I can just be me. Know that's not good enough for you.
Nick: I'm sorry.
Tripp: I suppose you think this is my fault. That if I had just sat down with him.
Nick: I am a bit puzzled, I have to admit. How you can yell at him for being irresponsible when you refuse to be responsible with him.
Tripp: This is between Jeremy and me.
Nick: No, it's not. Because I'm here to tell you what's wrong. It's wrong what you're doing to him, Tripp. You're trying to scare him into being who you want him to be. Is that what money for, to scare people, to control people? You're losing Jeremy, Tripp. You're losing him one day at a time. You could wake up one morning and find him gone.
Tripp: I'll see you tomorrow.



Cheating husband, illegitimate son and wife

Father Brian: Why aren't you dressed for school today, Gustav?
Gustav / Brian Jr: I don't want to go.
Father Brian: Is that how they do things in Sweden? School's like a tea party, you go if you want? What happened to your face?
Gustav / Brian Jr: A bully hit me.
Father Brian: Did you hit back?
Gustav / Brian Jr: Jesus says don't hit back.
Father Brian: Says who?
Gustav / Brian Jr: My mommy.
Father Brian: Your mommy? You mean your mommy who's dead?
Gustav / Brian Jr: Yeah.
Father Brian: Poor kid. She's in a better place now.
Wife: Bully or no bully, he still has to go to school.
Gustav / Brian Jr: Okay, but I'm gonna get terrorized.
Father Brian: Gustav, the world is full of bullies and always will be. You can't live in fear.
Gustav / Brian Jr: What am I supposed to do?
Father Brian: What do you think? Fight back. Like David and Goliath, you find a weakness and you take advantage. There's your Bible truth for today.